Dating 101: The Instant Cure for Romance Blues
Trust in marriage. How to create it?
There are no doubts, that one of the most critically important components of a great marriage is trust. This trust should be strong and truly mutual; only then a chance of building a good family might occur. You may notice, that it is simple to say, but extremely hard to do, and you would be quite right. Nevertheless, there are several advices, which may help you in achieving such heights! Here are these recommendations:
Never stop working on your communications skills. It's an essential requirement, which is tremendously beneficial. If you can communicate well, you will probably be more skilled in solving various problems inside your family. It's no secret, that your spouse will feel more trust towards you in case you start paying more attention to these things.
Try to change your manner of speaking to the one, which is more tolerant and annoying. First of all, learn to use "I-statementsâ? (like "I really believe you shouldâ¦â?) instead of "You-statementsâ? ("You shouldâ¦â?). This can be explained easily: usually people hear aggression, annoying orders and blaming in "You-statementsâ?. Even though this may seem quite nonessential, this IS one of the most important rules, so try to follow it everyday.
Express your need straightly and clearly. If a person isn't able to express his or her need in this way, this may become a real problem and, of course, doesn't help in building trust.
Be positive. It has been noticed, that people experience more trust towards those, who are nice and positive. This doesn't mean being nice 24 hours a day (we all have our problems and it's our right to express negative feelings from time to time), but it is recommended to be as nice as possible. After some time you will definitely notice an increase of trust from your spouse.
Don't leave unresolved questions and issues. It's always better to solve such problems soon after experiencing them; if you get back to them after some time, this will negatively affect the situation in your family and, of course, will not help to strengthen it.
Use the golden "five-to-oneâ? rule regularly. The point of this rule is that you should always speak about five positive things before a negative one. This will always be extremely useful tool of building trust between you and your partner.
Fight fairly. Do not try to avoid family fights (these are always unavoidable), but act fairly during them. This means you shouldn't blame your spouse, get pack to old unresolved problems or, for example, start fights when you have no reserves for holding your emotions (late at night or in several specific situations). If you could learn basics of fair family fights, it would definitely become much easier to build trust inside your family!
Never stop working on your communications skills. It's an essential requirement, which is tremendously beneficial. If you can communicate well, you will probably be more skilled in solving various problems inside your family. It's no secret, that your spouse will feel more trust towards you in case you start paying more attention to these things.
Try to change your manner of speaking to the one, which is more tolerant and annoying. First of all, learn to use "I-statementsâ? (like "I really believe you shouldâ¦â?) instead of "You-statementsâ? ("You shouldâ¦â?). This can be explained easily: usually people hear aggression, annoying orders and blaming in "You-statementsâ?. Even though this may seem quite nonessential, this IS one of the most important rules, so try to follow it everyday.
Express your need straightly and clearly. If a person isn't able to express his or her need in this way, this may become a real problem and, of course, doesn't help in building trust.
Be positive. It has been noticed, that people experience more trust towards those, who are nice and positive. This doesn't mean being nice 24 hours a day (we all have our problems and it's our right to express negative feelings from time to time), but it is recommended to be as nice as possible. After some time you will definitely notice an increase of trust from your spouse.
Don't leave unresolved questions and issues. It's always better to solve such problems soon after experiencing them; if you get back to them after some time, this will negatively affect the situation in your family and, of course, will not help to strengthen it.
Use the golden "five-to-oneâ? rule regularly. The point of this rule is that you should always speak about five positive things before a negative one. This will always be extremely useful tool of building trust between you and your partner.
Fight fairly. Do not try to avoid family fights (these are always unavoidable), but act fairly during them. This means you shouldn't blame your spouse, get pack to old unresolved problems or, for example, start fights when you have no reserves for holding your emotions (late at night or in several specific situations). If you could learn basics of fair family fights, it would definitely become much easier to build trust inside your family!
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